i just had sex bonerless
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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