My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
