...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
