I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Randomize
