its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Randomize
