in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Randomize
