I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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