Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Randomize
