It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
