Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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