Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
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