You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
