mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Randomize
