And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
