i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
