just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
did i walk over a car last night?
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
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