it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Randomize
