I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Randomize
