i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
He better not be in your backpack
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
