If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Randomize
