Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
