We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
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