Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
