Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
