My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
i black out too much to be "responsible"
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
