omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
