So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
