Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Two words: blizzard sex
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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