if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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