hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Randomize
