So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Randomize
