yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Randomize
