at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
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