Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
