dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
