can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
i came on her dog
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Randomize
