Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
