Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
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