you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
