You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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