The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
