Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
