if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Randomize