we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
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I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
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