If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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