I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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