You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
