carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
if only i could text you this smell
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Randomize
