i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
So much rum. So many feels.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
