Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
