It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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