we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
