just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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