i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Randomize
