i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize