ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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