we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
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