then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
We left the knife in your bed.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Randomize
