I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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