I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
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