I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize