Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
